Welcome to Gaze Theory
June 21, 2024 — Today is the day of the Summer Solstice. There is a full moon in Capricorn, my mom and brother’s sign. We are halfway done with the year. It has been 23 years since my dad’s passing. What better day for Gaze Theory to go public?
Without the significance of today’s date, I probably still wouldn’t have posted this.
It has almost been two years since I have come up with the idea of creating a blog. Not because I am a writer, but because I have a lot to say. And I love to create and share.
In all my procrastination, the making of Gaze Theory became a self-exploration journey. I’d go on and on thinking, why it is hard for me to do what I say I’ll do? There was all the planning but no execution.
The stagnancy of my life caused severe inner turmoil. To realize you are your enemy is one thing, but to then change the way your mind works is a whole other challenge. One that’s likely never-ending.
After a while of asking the same questions…to myself, my friends, and my therapist: I realized it’s hard for me to believe I am worthy of the things I desire.
It’s a weird statement to make, especially being someone who seems pretty secure in themselves. The ego’s a funny thing! It creates a mask, a facade… but we forget we are layered. And as the mask becomes thicker, it is much harder to peel off.
The push and pull of the heart and the mind is something we all experience.
If you were to ask my inner critic, she would tell you that the last four years of my life have been quite uneventful. No significant career milestones. No brag-worthy job position. Not swimming in hundred-dollar bills either.
Those answers were based on what I thought was important. But all the weight I carried wasn’t mine, to begin with. The realization that I never sat down to think about what I find important slowly broke me down.
When you ask me today, I cannot believe how many changes I’ve made since becoming an outside observer of my own life. No justifications, no bias. Just self-awareness and intuition. Through the gaze and the gut.
The world I live in, the magic in my inner world, is a world I didn’t realize was possible until I quieted the voices around me and found my own.
I intend for Gaze Theory to be a place for these questions and a collection of thoughts and information, ranging from self-discovery to health and wellness. A collection of things I’ve been wanting to share in long-form. (what I can’t fit in an Instagram story)
It is also a practice of discipline and commitment to myself.
There’s a part of me that feels the need to document this portion of my life. How I’m feeling. How I’m changing. How it’s all coming together.
Isn’t it so obvious now that each little part of our lives plays into the next? And the next and the next!?! It’s been so fun to look back at my journals and realize it’s all been writing itself.
I believe I was gifted with a unique perspective of the world and I intend to share it with whoever feels called to find me.
And more so, I believe each one of us is precious. Every one of us deserves an infinite amount of respect, consideration, and understanding. Every one of us deserves to find our true selves and live life through that version.
Let tonight’s full moon and the birth of Gaze Theory be your reminder:
Everything works out for me. The universe is working in my favor. Let go & let God.
XO, Gab
P.S. If you’re a crystal girly, put them in the window & let the full moon charge them!
