August Self Check-In

Hello, beautiful human ♥ I hope this week ahead brings you exactly what you need.

You likely read that sentence and thought of all the potential positive possibilities. We usually don't realize that sometimes, the unexpected and unwanted thing is what we need most. (This requires a boatload of surrendering; we'll get to that)

The majority of us operate with a black-and-white way of thinking. Something has to be positive or negative. It's hard to find ourselves comfortable in the in-between or the unknown, so we cling to extremes. 

The unknown, a lack of control, being in the grey area—all uncomfortable. We want answers, and we want them now. We do not want to believe that some things that happen to us are "for the best...for the greater good." Shuuuuut uuuup. While I am typically the first person to say, "Well, everything happens for a reason," it doesn't mean I always feel secure in the concept.

It's been close to a month since I last posted. While I never committed to a schedule or any rules, it has been a top-of-mind observation to notice where and how I prioritize my energy. Especially when it comes to giving to myself.  

The older version of myself would have been distraught at my long pause between entries. I would have created a storyline about what "everyone" must be thinking about me, and those thoughts would have put me into a deeper rut of procrastination, self-criticism, and complacency.

It has been my life's most significant shift to see any situation from a neutral perspective, from an observer's gaze, if you will. (Shoutout to The Shift) Learning to pause and reflect—an alternative method to my usual impulsive actions—has created an internal peace I haven't experienced before. 

In the last few weeks of not writing, one thing was made abundantly clear: my cup was EMPTY.  

After an unexpected few weeks, I naturally went on auto-pilot. It was not evident at the moment, but it never really is. When we experience a few too many "negatives" in a row, we let the label and essence take over, and subconsciously, I let it create lots of tension mirroring those narratives.

Pay attention or don't; time passes by with or without us. If we don't take care of ourselves accordingly, the buildup of consequences always catches up with us. And they surely caught up with me.

My self-care practice kinda continued (aka exercise, skin care, nutrition) but lacked a vital part of the process: genuine self-love. When you self-care without genuine self-love, you nurture something that does not feed you as efficiently. When your soul is lacking, it is safe to infer that your overall mind-body-soul connection is also lacking. With those three in a deficient state, we're screwed.

Many assume self-care is self-love. And that self-love is self-care. Unfortunately, self-care and self-love are not synonymous. They are dependent on one another to experience maximum efficacy.  

Self-love is a loaded practice that changes as we grow. It governs my health, heart, and peace; and those three were the first to be compromised because I did not put myself first.

At my most recent meeting with me myself, and I, it was clear in which moments I disrespected myself by not making myself the top priority. If you take away anything from my word vomit (aka my blog), REMEMBER THIS:

IF YOU SHOW THE UNIVERSE YOU ARE WILLING TO DISRESPECT YOUR OWN SELF, EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ELSE HAS FREE REIN.

Those moments are hard to admit, but self-care, authentic self-care is meant to make you a better human for yourself and everyone in your environment. It's less about doing and more about being and observing.

These days, self-care is associated with lying in bed, binge-watching a TV show, eating snacks, and lathering on layers of random skincare.  

What they failed to mention about this form of self-care is that it only fills the physical, surface-level version of ourselves. The main thing occurring during this form of self-care is the distraction from reality. 

For over a decade, we've been fed the power of self-care. Like with most concepts and trends, we did not get a complete picture of what self-care is meant to do for us and how it is oh-so layered.

We each have four bodies that need specialized attention: the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.

We rely on our physical body for the five senses: touch, sight, hearing, smell, and taste. Our emotional body mirrors our emotions, reactions, and fears. Our mental body reflects our ego, thoughts, analyses, and patterns. And lastly, the spiritual body controls the gut and intuition.

Learning about the many layers of myself and what these diverse parts of me need has changed the game. We typically follow the loudest trends because we assume it's a one-size-fits-all. But what works for me may not work for you—and it's not supposed to!!!

That holds for the practice of self-love as well. The love I need and desire is not for everyone. Proper self-care and self-love require a certain level of exploration. Time should be set aside each month for more self-exploration, which will charge you as you feed your emotional and mental bodies.

Each of us is a unique and heavily layered individual. The layers hidden deeply under the layers you choose to show the world? —yeah, those are the ones that lead the pack. They are the foundation: our spiritual body, gut, and intuition. This is the ROOT.

When we feel uneasy and can't explain why, our gut and intuition will likely try to tell us that we're not acting in our best interest. Unfortunately, those signals do not often reach where they need to go because all four bodies aren't playing for the same team.

Since self-love is essential for efficient self-care, you should ensure that all four bodies are clear on their intentions. Just imagine the push and pull your inner self experiences when the bodies are not on the same page.

Growing up, and even to this day, my mom will say, "Jak sobie poscielisz, tak sie wyspisz," which is the Polish version of "As you sow, so shall you reap."

Her words replay in my mind whenever things are not going my way. Instead of being quick to blame and complain, which I did for several years, I now schedule a meeting with myself and my four bodies: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. How are we doing? Has each of us been taken care of as we individually need?

With the new moon in Leo happening today and Mercury going retrograde in tandem, this is the perfect time for reflection and exploration.

When we hear retrograde, we assume the worst. As mentioned before, sometimes the unexpected and unwanted are what we need most. This period will address everything you've been doing that is not aligned with yourself and your journey.

Everything works in cycles; whether we like it or not, things constantly need to be reworked. The current astrological energies give us space to pause and review. Remember, but reassess.

I like to think of retrogrades as a backward rollercoaster ride through the last few months of my life. While simultaneously fun and triggering to relive certain parts, Mercury's retrograde highlights patterns of mistakes, and it's up to you if you refuse to make any adjustments.

While the new moon usually focuses on making new intentions for the month, this new moon in Leo is closing out a chapter from the last month to make room for more.

Leo is a loyal and courageous sign, and it is all about authentic expression and boldness in going after what you want. So, while reflecting on your methods and approach tactics, make sure what you think you want is actually what you want.

Let this time show you the truth while you sit back and do as little as possible. Enjoy yourself. Be loud and bold and full of love and light. Give less of a shit.

While I like to think I am the most perfect butterfly fairy angel on the entire planet Earth and our neighboring planets that I have yet to visit, and I am...I also have much room for improvement and will always have meetings for myself and my four bodies. (Also, let's be real. There are way more than four versions of my unstable ass)

Anyway, while the last few weeks have put a lot of stress on me, mostly self-inflicted, I am excited about the energy shift this weekend has brought.

Be your own hype person. Be your own therapist/bestie. The truest self-care and self-love is realizing you are all you need. Everything I need to heal and feel is within me; everything else is additional yumminess.

HUGS AND KISSES FOR ALL, XOX GAB

Below is an example of what my notebook looks like for my New Moon/Mercury Rx reflection.

I filled in the first part to provide some examples! I will privately answer the bottom portion in a longer form (since I can’t keep anything concise) and will finish off by writing my intentions for the moon cycle ahead.

For example: I will write & create freely to my liking. No second-guessing myself.

Good Luck, Babe!